May 11th, 2002

krazy kat

End-of-term Euphoria

... or something.

Wow, last week of the term. Has it really all gone by so fast? Do I really only have 5 days of classes left? Have I really been here (almost) a whole academic year already? It's gone by so fast... feels like I only arrived a couple of weeks ago. Faster and faster. And only another year till I hit the quarter-century mark.

I'm feeling old.

Of course, I've been feeling old for a while now.

But this is all sounding depressed, which I'm not really. That title wasn't sarcastic or anything. It always happens at this time of year... the end-of-term euphoria, or something like that. Weather's getting warmer, days are getting longer, sun's shining brighter (er, whatever). And all my projects are in, all the work's pretty much completed. All I have left to go is a couple of finals, and I'm DONE!

Wow... uh, 35 credits. Over 1/4 the way to a degree. It doesn't feel like I've really accomplished much. And I'm gonna take another 7 credits this summer, pushing it up to 42. Shit, that's almost a third the way (a CS degree here is 130 credits).

I've also passed the "six month wall." It's another Putterism, I guess. I get bored easily (for lack of a better term); I have problems sticking to one thing for longer than 6 months or so. At that point, I get totally restless and start looking for something else to do, wishing I was somewhere else, doing anything else. I always get totally depressed right around that time, and usually end up leaving whatever it is I'm doing, just because I can't take it anymore. Either that, or I just stop doing... whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing, and slack off to the point where I drop out or get fired or whatever.

It's something that's always plagued me; forcing me to always live my life in six-month incremnts. Some of you know that well.

And, predictably, I hit it again a couple months ago. Look back over the last 8 to 10 weeks worth of my posts, and you'll notice it. I hit the wall about 6 weeks ago, and managed to make it over without giving up. Yay! And over the last 4 weeks it's been steadily improving. Not great yet, I still feel a bit suicidal de temps en temps, but on the mend. And the 6 month wall is always the worst of it. I know from past experience that if I can make it past that, then it's pretty much smooth sailing.

And I'm getting over it so, like, yay! I haven't dropped out yet so, like, yay!

Good mood; happy mrputter; optimistic. Summer! Yay!
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