Shut up; I find it funny!
You know you have been in the UAE too long when...
- You think the best time to cross the street is at midnight, dressed completely in black, holding hands with your entire family.
- You no longer wait in line but go immediately to the front of the queue, which can sometimes be one deep and three thousand wide.
- You stop at the bottom of an escalator to plan your day.
- It becomes exciting to see if you can get onto a lift before anyone can try to get out.
- It is no longer surprising that the only minute made at a meeting is the time and place for the next meeting.
- You rank the decision-making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply 'Up to you!'
- You no longer wonder how someone who earns 2000 Dhs per month can drive a brand new Mercedes.
- You accept the fact that you must queue to get a number for the next queue.
- You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is 'broken' and will cost 'a lot' of money to get it 'fixed'.
- You find that it saves time to stand and retrieve your hand luggage from the overhead lockers whilst the plane is making it's final landing approach.
- A T-bone steak with rice sounds just fine.
- You regard traffic signals, stop signs and fake watch peddlers with equal disdain.
- When listening to the pilot prove he cannot speak English you no longer wonder if he can understand the air traffic controller.
- You regard it as part of the adventure, when the waiter repeats your order exactly but the cook makes something completely different.
- You have more knick-knacks than your grandmother.
- You are no longer surprised when three men with a ladder arrive to change a light bulb.
- You are considering buying a moped or scooter as a family vehicle.
- You understand all the above.
